Dirty adult christmas jokes

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If I was the Grinch, I wouldn't steal Christmas. Before the police left, the kid asked "Did Santa give you the horse? The spotty youth pointed to the Christmas mistletoe above the counter and said, 'This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre'. Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The woman answered, "Well, I have nothing left to live for. She unzipped Santa and gave him the best blowjob of his life. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

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He asks the girlfriend's younger sister to accompany him to buy them then she can point out a pair she'd like. What does one ho plus two ho make? The lights are on, but nobody's a gnome. What's the difference between Santa Clause and a knight? I was fired from my job, my husband left with the kids, my landlord is evicting me and my cancer has returned. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

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